Utterly delicious, super yummy, delectable as all heck Chocolate Chip Cookies

I want to share a simple but amazing recipe for chocolate chip cookies. One of the best things about these cookies is that you can add nuts, extra chocolate, candy chunks or anything to it to switch it up or keep it basic for the best cookie you'll ever eat.

Begin with a cup of butter. Butter needs to be room temp. A big mistake people make is microwaving their butter to soften it and using melted butter.

Melted butter makes the cookie flatten. Hard butter doesn't blend enough. So leave your butter out in the kitchen for an hour or more so it can get  little softer but not melted.

After you find your demon sticking his fingers in the butter and then licking those fingers, get another cup of butter out and hide it under an upside down bowl. Let it get to room temperature.

In a bowl... well, first find a clean bowl. If your cousin has been washing the dishes because you do all the cooking and it's just fair, then first wash all your bowls and utensils and rinse the glassware under hot water. Then dry a bowl and add 3/4 cup white sugar and 3/4 cup of brown sugar. Add your butter and cream it. That means mix it well till it's beautifully blended, even if you have to dance around your kitchen trying to get away from a demon who wants "just a little taste. Come on Thea, what will it hurt?"

Yeah, I've heard that line before, Mister.

You want to add two eggs. If you open the fridge and discover that the carton of 18 eggs that you bought two days ago is missing, then you carefully place your bowl down, threaten your demon and go to find your damned cousin to ask what happened to the eggs.

After you find your cousin in her workroom with your eggs and discover that she's been poking holes in the shells with a needle and trying to empty the innards so she can have the intact shell to work with... and you scream a little... and then she reluctantly gives you the last two  eggs which are mercifully fine, you go back to the kitchen and find the damned demon ate your bowl of butter.

Take a deep breath. That's very important at this point.

Take the last of the butter and again hide it under the bowl to come to room temperature. Leave the eggs out since you want them at room temp too. Take a hot shower because it's very calming and being calm means everyone lives another day.

Play a game or two of candy crush.

Go back to the kitchen and find that mother fucking demon standing at the counter eating scrambled eggs using the last of your butter and eggs.

Go to the store.

Buy this:

 Drink your dinner.